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Five Sixteenths

The fabulous, maybe mundane, but always truthful bloggings of a five-sixteenths something-er-other.

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Location: Philly, Pennsylvania, United States

I am a 28-year-old work at home mom and full time student. I am a member of the Leech Lake band of the Minnesota Chippewa tribe.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Eggshells

Well, my mother is in the Intensive Care Unit. She has finally accomplished it. She is on the brink of death at 44 because she can't put down the liquor. You would think I'd be sad, upset, but I'm more angry than anything. Angry that someone could be so selfish all of those years. Angry that she abandoned me and neglected my sister. Angry that my sister has some sort of emotion toward this woman who did nothing but neglect her. Angry that my sister is the exact same person as my mother and doesn't see it.

I feel sad that my sister may lose her mother but I have no emotional connection to her so I am numb. I feel sad that my grandmother is hurting from all of this senseless bullshit.

In a way I feel like you have to be mentally ill, severely, in order to neglect yourself to that point. In order to let your liver deteriorate and not go to a doctor. Doesn't that show incompetence enough where they would have the decency to lock her up in an institution to save her from herself? I have every intention of asking a physician this today. My grandma said to me, "your mother better pray she doesn't make it. Because if she does, she's never coming out from under lock and key for as long as she lives."

I concur.

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