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Five Sixteenths

The fabulous, maybe mundane, but always truthful bloggings of a five-sixteenths something-er-other.

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Location: Philly, Pennsylvania, United States

I am a 28-year-old work at home mom and full time student. I am a member of the Leech Lake band of the Minnesota Chippewa tribe.

Friday, October 07, 2005

No Glow!

Ok, I admit, I am fascinated by Jennifer Lopez. Less so now that she married Marc Anthony because I'm not sure what the attraction was. I saw the money behind P. Diddy. I saw the hot bod on Cris Judd. But erm... Marc Anthony? She weighs more than he does!

At any rate, the girl is a glamour puss. Like her or not she has become a style icon. So when I read she slathers her entire body in $1000 Creme de la Mer facecream, I had to try this miracle potion. I read up on the web... it seems a guy from NASA got some incredibly bad burns and tried to divise a potion to treat his scars. Voila, Creme de la Mer was born. It doesn't have uber-fascinating ingredients, just the typical stuff in lotion. But supposedly it's the 'special fermentation process' that creates this miracle whip, if you will. It will make your skin glow! You will regain your youth! The skin regeneration process will begin!

I spent a rough $20-something to get a tiny trial size scoop off of Ebay. I waited impatiently over the next 2 weeks as the guy who sold it to me only took a Bidpay money order and lived in Hawaii, so it would be awhile before I got my gold. I finally got it, freshly packed with a macadamia nut candybar from Maui, and decided to give it a whirl before bed. I kept the macademia nut bar for the next day.

I slathered on the magic potion. It felt like gooey, thick, butter in my hands. I only needed a miniscule amount to cover my entire face. So this is how J. Lo covers her body with it: She only weighs 120 pounds; There isn't much to cover and you only need a tiny amount!

I admit, it smelled divine. I FELT like a million bucks. Finally, movie stars, rock stars, music stars, and ah yes, J. Lo and myself, shared a bond.

I laid down to sleep and thought of how great my skin would look in the morning. Would it be deep bronze and glowing? Shiny and fresh? Pink and rosey?

I woke up the next morning and rushed to the mirror, looking at myself, including my frazzled hair in the mirror.

No glow.

But I did, for the record, have 4 new zits.

2 Comments:

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