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Five Sixteenths

The fabulous, maybe mundane, but always truthful bloggings of a five-sixteenths something-er-other.

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Location: Philly, Pennsylvania, United States

I am a 28-year-old work at home mom and full time student. I am a member of the Leech Lake band of the Minnesota Chippewa tribe.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


People are so hard to figure out. The relationships between men and women are strange. All women ask for is communication and no matter what the situation or who the person is, very rarely do they get it. Men and women don't even speak the same language, much less come from the same planet. The idea of fun for men and women is so different. The idea ofwhat sex should mean is blurred profoundly. Women can always fake being emotionless but in the end, women fail at the biggest show of their life and, inevitably lose the Oscar. (Or, Oscar.)

For instance, my brother-in-law and his girlfriend of 10-some years are fighting. They have a child together, live in the same dwelling, and argue over petty things. He says he is sick of her, the 'dumb' things she says. But he refuses to tell her this and instead decides to just start coming home late after a night of "thinking" on the stoop. Then, she takes this wrong, and assumes he is cheating. Then, inevitably, he is going to get tired of being accused and go out and cheat and say "well, you accused me of it..." All of this because he could not just stop and say, "when you do this, it bothers me. Let's work it out."

I'm a hypocrite. I do this in my own marriage. I beat around the bush, ignore, and play games instead of saying what I really think or feel. When he looks at another girl and it bothers me, I let it build up inside until one day, I just blow up - or, worse yet, I nag consistently because I'm so bothered by the big things that the little things seem like World War III.

I realize how lucky I am to be in a marriage that works. We have deep, philosophical conversations. We both love to do the same things. We boost each other's confidence and take great care of our daughter. It's always the little things that make you angry in a relationship and think things are in dire straits.

Our love is still fresh. We only knew each other 7 months before we married. Five of that was spent 1000 miles from each other. We've been married a little over 2 years and I feel blessed that we are still together. We have been through a lot and the proof is in the pudding; we are still together and the rough patches have, indeed, made us perservere.

So, what's the bottom line? Why can't men and women coexist?
I don't think we'll ever know. Mostly because neither one will ever communicate well enough to give us the answer.


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